Higher Sex Drive: Men or Women?
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Porn Kills Sex Drive?
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Agent Provocateur Soiree 2011
Agent Provocateur Soiree 2011 from Agent Provocateur on Vimeo.
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13 Sex Secrets Men Don’t Know About Women
Esquire’s sex columnist on the truth about “girls night out,” wedding obsessions, and more revealing solutions for the bedroom
WOMEN ESSENTIALS: New Facts, What She Wants, Funny Rules, 75 Dating Tips, and Last Chance for the Ultimate Survey >>
By Stacey Grenrock Woods
Corbis
Women don’t like explosions, in art or in life.
Women aren’t as funny as men. We’re often cleverer, frequently wittier, but to be really funny demands a certain clownishness that our grace just does not allow. It’s fine, really it is.
We grow pathetic goatees and look awful in cargo shorts anyway.
Women are aware of about 10 percent of the things men actually think and say about us. Best to keep it under five.
Women love to be taken out to eat. It makes our day.
A clean apartment will get you more tail than you’d think.
Given the chance, women will smell and re-smell the scented-candle display at the store. We really can do this for ages.
Our clothes are complicated, our shoes unforgiving, and our constitutions delicate, so please, valet park.
Every living woman likes wedding crap. Even lesbians.
“Girls night out” is usually some other woman’s idea.
Oftentimes, women simply want to lie back and get laid.
One orgasm is usually enough.
Women would rather be with you. We like you. Honestly, we talk about you all the time.
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78 percent of all U.S. nipples are not being pinched, tweaked, or otherwise constricted in a severe enough manner
In Politics: Nation’s Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports:
WASHINGTON—A new study released this week by the U.S. Bureau of Masochism has concluded that American nipples are critically under-clamped, bolstering long-held suspicions that the nation is rapidly losing interest in the thin, delectable line between pleasure and pain.
According to the study, which surveyed a wide swath of citizens who have been very, very bad, 78 percent of all U.S. nipples are not being pinched, tweaked, or otherwise constricted in a severe enough manner. In addition, the study found that nearly 90 percent of all Americans are not currently down on their hands and knees, begging for more.
“The vast majority of U.S. citizens are just not receiving the physical punishment they deserve,” said Masochism Bureau director Geoff Knowlton, who was permitted by his mistress, Alexandria, to meet with reporters despite being unfit for anything but groveling at her boot heels. “Unless something is done—whether with a riding crop, a stiff wooden paddle, or a series of humiliating commands to bark like a dog—this problem will only get worse. (…read more, theonion.com)
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American nipples: sex study praised as urgent wake-up call
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